getting in the groove

this blog is a bit like using a new language...you have to consciously apply yourself to make it useful...

I am now officially past the legal drinking age. Already i can feel myself maturing. I think the celebration can attest to that. No crazy, packed-apartment, tableful of liquor, loud talking and music party this year. Dinner at Pyramid with people from all different parts of my life, chilling at Thalassa (a bar, not a club) with my closest friends, and dropping by at a good friend's house party before heading home at a decent hour (~1 am). I am grateful to have met and known so many colorful people in my 22 years. My friends are essential to my existence and I care about them all, even if I don't prove it with regular phone calls and lunch dates.

Snowboarding on Saturday was a trek the whole way. We (me, vio, dan) didn't have time to look up directions to Kirkwood before we left, so we blindly got on the 50 when we left Sac. [On a side note, Vio wasn't too happy with me and dan for being so unconcerned with planning the trip, which I felt a little guilty about, but didn't make too much of an effort to rectify cuz i didn't feel well.] However, after calling around, we find out we were supposed to take the 16, NOT the 50, to the 88 but we obtain alternate directions that should get us there. These roads turn out to be the backroads of Tahoe: highways with one lane on each side, winding around the mountains, through forests, AND they're not plowed. After slipping down one highway, having to put on chains on the next one, and almost making to the 88, we couldn't go any farther because the snow on the road was just too thick for the civic, so despite our efforts, we had to turn around. I now hate Kirkwood for simply being so unaccessible. We get back on the 50 and surprisingly it's only 11:30, only four hours since we left Berkeley. Sierra's the only resort we know of in South Tahoe, so we decided to go there for a half day. Now, I've never gone for just a half day, but parking lot was so full at Sierra that we had to park halfway down the road from the parking lot. So we had to walk UPHILL with all of our gear for a good 15 minutes just to get to the lodge. It reminded me of why I should resolve to work out on a regular basis. In any case, we got a good half day of riding in. I've been rusty since I've only gone once this season and I was having trouble then. Losing control of the board and falling over and over when I knew I was capable of carving made me extremely frustrated. I'd blame my boots or the bindings when I knew it was really me, but I didn't want to admit that I couldn't do it. Magically, after a few wise words of advice from violette, I think I've regained my confidence and the rhythm of carving. Can't do without her. ;) We ended the day with large phos at Pho King 2 (which by some freak chance violette DIDN'T get until we basically told her..."there must be a Pho King 1") and bringing Kix back to Berkeley.

Confidence is definitely something I don't have naturally. It only comes when I truly believe I have a firm foundation in a particular skill or area of knowledge and it takes me a long time to build that up. I've decided I have two choices: To learn to fake the confidence or to immerse myself so that I may acquire confidence faster. I haven't decided which option is easier, especially since I'm not good at lying.