spring break blogging

AGH i just spent the better part of an hour trying to find "another night" by real mccoy. apparently everyone either doesn't have it on mp3 or had it some point and lost it. i wanted it for my 90s eurodance mix for vegas. i'm going to sulk in the corner.

must leave apartment for airport in 6 hours. holay!

real reason i'm blogging: it was time to clean out my profile on AIM and i wanted to remember these. I'm doing pretty will with #1 and #4, so-so on #2, and completely failing #3. oh well, i still have nine months.

"New Years" Resolutions:
1. To deal with all email within 4 days of reception.
2. To phase the term "like" out of my speech.
3. To meditate once a day.
4. To work out once a week.

my daddy is my hero

my iPod is finally in service! yayyyyyyy!! now i can have access to all my favorite songs and albums at any time of the day!! after nine long months of installing, reinstalling, installing on different computers, updating, downloading, visiting the apple store, talking to all sorts of computer consultants, and bitching about the incredibly incompatible entity that is aPPLe, the jaiPod works works works. I no longer hate aPPLe, but am just rawther annoyed with a permanant wound to my patience. thank goodness my daddy is a genius with computers. he configured the ipod with his computer and then when we plugged into my retarded compaq, it worked! whee!! then his computer crashed from interacting with the iPod. sigh. apple really needs to get the kinks worked out of the iPod/PC relationship.

in other news, i had tea at the Ritz with niwde on Friday afternoon. Little sandwiches and mini pastries make me so happy. I'm sure the Kir Royal champagne cocktail didn't hurt. We had a lovely time talking about our families and dogging the old white people that were in the tea room with us. hey, we were the only minorities there...gotta assert our ren quan. lol. then we spent the rest of the evening roaming union square. we shared a chicken, pita bread, hummus, and champagne for dinner before me, niwde, nance, jenn, and martha sang our hearts out at NRB. hooray for old love songs, r&b, and pop eurodance music!! we'll definitely go again soon...

back to reality and the pressures of the Thesis, Immuno, and the impending Midterm...

self-reliance

in contrast to the last entry, i'm at the other end of the emotional spectrum today. let's just say today was a rocky journey with me clinging to the wagon, hoping to make it to the end. okay, maybe it wasn't that bad (there will be probably be worse days ahead - ha, isn't that optimistic of me) but i just felt so shot down every time i turned around.

first was my score on the immuno midterm, which i had felt relatively confident about. my mcb test scores in the past year have made me wonder whether i've reached my learning limits in research science. perhaps it's impossible for me to be that smart. next was my gpa which i had to find because i'm switching my major from immunology to genetics. oh, how i wished i'd worked harder when i had the chance. my gpa is no stunner. it's certainly not going to get me into medical school. when i think back to what i was spending my time on, if not studying, i'm amazed at how little i've actually accomplished. sure, i was riding high when i was a freshman as an active cabinet member in a huge campus organization, but then what? what do i have to show for my four years? i'm not a member of asuc senate, nor am i a Cal athlete. i'm not leading a club to make a difference and i'm not a TA for any class. how am i possibly qualified to be anything than mediocre? and who wants a mediocre doctor.... anyhow, the rest of the day was just bad luck: raining while i walked home, problems with my Chinese software (fixed now), problems securing my Calmail connection (not fixed, grr), and my bf couldn't talk on the phone when i wanted to tonight. that last incident made me realize how easy it is to become dependent on your significant other and to take for granted that someone will always be there to listen to your rants. i shouldn't rely on that. he's got his own life and worries to deal with. i'm lucky to have found him and love has no expectations. friends also have their own problems and issues. why burden them with mine? so i must reassert the independent woman within and deal with the increasingly overwhelming stress i've acquired recently myself, which i'll save for another entry. good thing this blog helps a little by giving me an outlet for venting. otherwise there wouldn't be another entry.