why medicine?

why is this so DIFFICULT? arrrghhh i have pages and pages of singular paragraphs discussing my experiences, experimenting with various approaches, and several possible unifying themes, but none of them seem to fit together with everything i want to say! writing this essay shouldn't be so hard. i guess i'm putting a lot of pressure to get it right this first time. i'm going to DIE tomorrow from lack of sleep.

Theme 1: Doctore means teach in Latin. I've been tutoring/teaching for most of my life and it makes sense to continue it at a higher level.
problem - can't fit in research

Theme 2: I care about people. I want to help them understand how to attain and maintain the highest level of health.
problem - difficult to demonstrate without medical experience

Theme 3: I'm interested in a holistic approach to everything I do. Now medicine interests me.
problem - how to explain why medicine.

Theme 4: Natual progression of molecular science background, public health work, and teaching. All were great but felt like something was missing.
problem - makes it sound like medicine is default.

maybe i can combine 2 and 3. back to the drawing board.