summer of goodbyes...or see you laters.

i'm finally back in action, after having spent the last two weeks in complete idleness. thought about calling up friends to see before i leave, didn't actually do it. watched a lot of movies on hbo: catwoman, vanity fair, elizabeth, shrek 2 (multiple times), madagascar, the skulls, etc. dangerous thing, a few hundred tv channels is. does everyone go through shanghai withdrawal? after i pulled myself out of my depression (which my darling boyfriend so understandingly tolerated), i eventually got around to completing administrative forms for school, little financial issues that piled up while i was away, logistics of moving, downloading and organizing music...things that i could've done in one day but took my time about.

for our farewell slmc trip, the girlz and i made a trip up to lake tahoe. none of us had been up in the summer...it was gorgeous! brilliant colors of nature, fresh air, clean blue water. we wanted to do a bunch of things, but ended up playing uno on the hot sandy beach. playing in the lake made for a sweet alternate activity. of course, we had our traditional game of kings before we went out for the night at the casinos. we reminisced about our past classic moments, shared our lives of the present, and expressed our dreams & fears for the future. jenn's leaving the bay area as well, but for usc PT school. i can't believe it's been 5 years since we met. i still remember the first time i met her beginning of freshman year on our way to fort point (in the city) in mark's creaky van with questionable brakes. the other girls, jenn, and i clinging together in the cold and fear of the "albino man" while mark and shuichi hid behind us. ah! i'm going to miss the sexy ladies oh-so-painfully...





i arrived in pittsburgh yesterday for my search for a flat. this trip kickstarted my motivation for action. the one week i have at home when i leave thursday will be most precious. last chance to see familiar faces, visit old haunts, and enjoy california until winter break. i realized last week while pey was visiting, just what i'll be leaving behind. it hit hard...my life of the past 18 years - adolescence, high school, uni - revolved around the City and bay area. it's true my sister made the move to the east coast fresh out of high school and made it well. i admire her for that. i didn't consider what it entailed when she did it. this is the first time i'm moving farther than an hour's drive away from home. yet, i have four saturated years of memories from cal that my sister didn't have to leave behind, which make it infinitely more difficult to be apart from the culture i hold so dear. no more berkeley bowl, clubbing at suite 181, tim's place, emeryville, indian rock, napa, bitterswet chocolate cafe, lake merritt, sushi house, amoeba, the mission, citizen cake, shows at the warfield, CAL!!, downtown SJ (yes, even there)...oh, i can't name them all...it's too hard to realize how much i'm going to miss all my friends...

but it's not forever. just for longer periods of time. ain't no thang.

home will always be home. the people will still be there, or somewhere i can visit. the culture will continue to thrive. the places will persist while others make their own memories there. i'll be the one in the "roll on you bears" shirt with my potato gun at fort point, looking for the albino man.